Fuck alcohol as a social lubricant, IV-SM makes me just as alert, friendly and chatty as a “normal person.” I feel like I should have a routine morning infusion, and in order to keep that fantasy alive, I am purposefully not looking up the adverse effects of using steroids as maintenance. I mean, I know it’s not possible, but right now I feel okay.

I hope, at the least, I can keep hold of this optimism when I go up to into full 1ml injections (starting tomorrow). That’s what this month off has been all about, and I’m a week behind because my optic nerve is a douchebag.

Oh well, today I was productive, cleaned the kitchen, began actively teaching myself to slow down, watching my movements as if I were someone watching me and always about to say “wtf, why are are you doing it that way!” Because, really, that’s a genuine problem that I can blame partially on MS, but also on seeming to lack on a certain, functional amount of common sense. The lack of one makes the other harder to perform daily tasks, so I’ve been kinda feeling like I got to learn a lot of things I should already know as an adult, as if I were a child. Gotta do what I gotta do — things have to change about the way I live normally and how I normally do things. Which is pretty weird. But, quoth great prophet Jay-Z:

“I feel like the world is against me, Lord — Call me crazy but strangely I love the odds.”

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