Somebody Call the WAAAHMBULANCE!

The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain. – Aristotle 

So here’s the thing. I haven’t been able to feel temperature or much sensation in my hands and arms for years. This, of course, resulted in occasional injury —  most of which I’d never remember having even happened because I never felt it happen, which is still very much the case with the “rotten banana” legs I walk on.

I have been receiving and benefiting from chiropractic care for about six weeks now, stemming from the motor vehicle accident. Yes, it is helping the particular knot of searing pain in my back to an extent… but, frankly, not to the unexpected extent of nerve recovery.  Sometime a few days ago, I was washing dishes. I again pushed the cold water on just a little, since the pure hot tap was uncomfortable.

Wait, what?

Holy Bluto’s Balls, I could feel temperature! Those who know me know that I easily and often will burn myself on ovens, lighters and the like. No. Apparently I am no longer capable of touching plates deemed “too hot” by waitstaff at every Mexican restaurant. Apparently tomato juice in a fresh cut can sting. And apparently that safety pin holding my favorite pants up can hurt me.

Now, I am insufferably exclaiming “ow” at things, then reveling over them in wonder. Ultimately it is nothing but an amazing turnaround and a gift from whatever heavens may be, but goddamnit I fucking hate pain. I am not used to suffering more than a second or two when I do feel something — the girl used to the sound, but not the pain, of a knife sinking into her finger while cutting vegetables is now easily insulted at length by the fact that she now writhes over a 4mm cut on her left thumb. Not fair.

I am apparently not as careful as I need to learn to be. Stupid learning. But a new language isn’t always such a terrible difficulty — my chiropractor told me, “Pain is good — pain is communication. Numbness is a lack of that communication.”

And I can’t argue the physiological truth there; I just, as though in Penthouse Forum, “never thought it would happen to me.”

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