Two Days in One

3/16/13

Why I set them up every afternoon for the following day.

Why I set them up every afternoon for the following day.

I fell asleep around 10 last night, woke up for about two hours around 5 then slept again until 10:30. This is officially the most sleep I’ve gotten in months, and a parade is in order.

Except someone already got the permit for that since it’s St. Patrick’s Day in a college town.

Right now, dinner’s on the stove, the dishwasher is un/re-loaded and the coffee and tea pots are ready for tomorrow morning. Now I’m going to be working until my wife makes it home through festive holiday traffic. My wife literally never gets a day off during the week, so it is a celebration whenever she gets home for the day, or for an afternoon or a morning or an hour.

I’m miserable. Dizzy and unstable and I hurt. I am close enough to, but far enough from tears to bootstrap myself into about a mile of dog walking. I posited: maybe some exercise will relieve the pain and/or dizziness. It did neither and the rest of the night was spent hugging a pillow whenever possible.

3/17/13

gilenyaTomorrow morning I’m calling for a doctor’s appointment. I’m not in the habit of doing this unless there’s been at least a sustained fever or loss of [something]… and even then I have no Primary Care Physician, just my specialist. I don’t have insurance and consider it largely a lost cause that doctors can do a damn thing for any damn thing. Jaded though I have become through years of improper or shoddy treatment by physicians, I need to  get a PCP because I am willing to trust that medicine can help control some of the baser physiological manifestations that keep me up at night.

That being said, I had a great morning today which has already dimmed into a wilting afternoon. After waking at about 7am, my wife and I took the dogs for a walk (about .5m? .75? at least .5). By the time we got home I was walking a little like a gangster Hunchback of Notre Dame. It would be unusual for me now to not go numb from the waist down on walks, and this time along with it came flub-lipped words of encouragement and spittle for Cowboy. Problems with speech — the physical act, not word loss or whatnot — are brand new. Swallowing has started presenting as an issue with which to be dealt. First and foremost: are these possible side effects of Gilenya? And how long will the things that I know are last?

I cooked tonight’s dinner. So there, universe! [shakes limp fist]

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  1. Keeping fighting–there are people supporting you and fighting with you that you don’t even know. If we can do anything to help, please let us know. We understand how you feel.

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