I Woke Up.

555072_437964752955321_1123460888_nWhen I wake up now it’s not with an immediate sense of dread that something will be wrong again, such as extreme dizziness, cog fog or (heavens forbid) a complete inability to walk or see. For a respectable while after the Dx, I did, and I felt correct in assuming the worst because so often something unsavory was happening… I’m betting that doing this is a fairly normal response to being told your body is essentially eating itself slowly from the inside out.

After some years now I am familiar with the normal flux and wake up most days with the hope that today I will feel like a normal person and will be keenly able to do normal-person things. I open my eyes to to-do lists (yes, that’s a plural) ready to engage upon. This morning was another where walking was more painful than the day before; I will shrug away this hurt and do what I can about it (stretching, breathing, yoga, etc). I’ve got so many things to do both around the house and on the computer that feeling scared or depressed is a waste of what time I do have left with the faculties remaining to me.

743401-fig1Right now I am juggling the difficulties of unresolved vision decreases, spasticity‘s painful tightness and extensor spasms (just like the ones I would wake up with at 13/14 years old)… oh, and so far the bladder stuff remains unresolved by medication.

This all sucks. Big time.

But y’know what? If it seems easy to lose myself in a desperate pity party, how about losing myself in the opposite of that?


  • IMAG1218I woke this morning with good spirits and less cog fog than normal
  • I woke this morning to multiple clients
  • I woke this morning to four new tires on the car
  • I woke this morning beside the person I love most in this world,
  • and next to the dog I love most in this world.
  • I woke this morning to a refrigerator with lots of newly-bought produce
  • I woke this morning to The Daily Show over a healthy breakfast
  • I woke this morning.


  1. You woke up and had the energy and honesty to blog. This is a good thing. Have a great day.

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