Happy First Anniversary, Better Half


Everyone getting married in New York City gets this picture opportunity.

One year and one day ago I married the most beautiful person I’ve ever been lucky enough to have serve me my first-ever pimento cheese fries. Those fries then led to many more cardinal moments for us both, most of which were discoveries of strangely coincidental incidents that made us wonder aloud how it was we’d never before seen one another.

I met her as my waitress, then learned she had known members of my family since the early 1990s. Waitressing was only a part-time endeavor that was coupled with being a yoga instructor… on which was doubled-down being well-known in the city for her on-stage work as an actress/singer; it turns out I had actually seen the last play she was in, and I loved specifically her part most of all (but felt too far beneath such awesomeness to approach her after).


At the NY State Supreme Court our judge was from Chester, SC (a few miles away from our town).

Hell, we had several Facebook friends in common.

Anyway, a quick lunch became a long one when our waitress spent a lot of attention to our tea and to my singing Lonely Island lullabies to my infant niece.  I left a business card from my purse — granted, not one of my own but one from a car dealership with the phone number scratched out and an apology for it being someone else’s card written on. I didn’t know when we met that she was the stage actress over which I’d previously swooned, but even without a wig I felt she was way too upper-eschelon to ever call. And she didn’t.

She emailed instead.

This was the play

I was going to get to marry the actress back row center.

We were both tickled to unearth an archaeological plethora of shared people, places and things. On a subsequent date, rocking on a bench that overlooked the lake, she said quietly “I want to grow old with you.”

Here is where I could continue wit a novel that will most likely result in a dangerous increase in glucose levels that we’ve learned to dub “Les-betes

Lesbetes – n.  A phrase meant to describe the overwhelming amount of female-couple-related sweetness that results in sickening onlookers.

I take pride in our honesty.

I also hold in high regard all of the things I have received by knowing this woman. We were both peripherally studying Ayurvedic diets when we met, and she began teaching me yoga. She brought with seeming incorruptibility back to my ravaged-by-my-twenties world a sense of peace. With her I have been able to become more stable even when I feel dizzy and unbalanced; I feel like before we met there was an internal center of me that hadn’t been able to discern its own dizziness. Without outright trying, she was to be my sea change.

She was there all along, just an audience away. I’m still happily coming to terms with how lucky I am.

cat_dock copy


  1. Happy Anniversary!

    • Debby LaLima
    • October 13th, 2013

    everyone should find such a wonderful match!!!

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