Summary: I Will Receive SSDI!

556870_10152071869124108_700803212_n Today I finally heard those three little words every girl dreams of coming from the lips of a federal judge: “Congrats, you’re disabled!”

Well, not literally those three words. But literally from a federal judge. Within several weeks this part of what I have never imagined as anything other than a continuous journey of care will hit a patch of light. MS has had me for some years before a Dx came, and now it is five years past that. It is a little over three years since I bit the bullet [here “bullet” = “pride”] and applied for SSDI. Today I sat in a tiny courtroom and was mostly silent while my fate* was decided (save a “Yes, Sir” or “Thank you, Your Honor”) by two people I’ve never seen before and will probably never again.

Thank you, Judge Roberts. Thank you, Ashley Thompson. Thank you state witness for the other side whose name I can’t recall. Thank you, stenographer whose name also apologetically unremembered.

A wild celebration immediately followed this life-altering decision: I went to the chiropractor (Thank you, Dr. McCaughan!) and got Thai food for lunch. That’s wild, right?

As wild as is the cognitive dissonance of accepting a success after three years of failures, I s’pose. It’ll apparently take me another minute or ten to recognize that my life can begin getting much better now. Well, a couple weeks from now, but still. I haven’t let myself focus on much anything else for some time, and I hope that the lifting of burdens allows for me to pick up another paintbrush.

Oh yeah, meet Aubrey Kanedinsky. IMG_20131210_124800445She is my new cane, named for two of my favorite artists [Aubrey Beardsley, left; Wassily Kandinsky, bottom]. I hope she and I can be best buds for a while (Already using a gender-specific pronoun for an inanimate object suggests that friendship is at least one-sided, amirite?).


*”fate” in this instance is of course just an abbreviated, hyperbolic reference to the drawn-out purgatory of the SSDI application process.

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