Disparaging Slurs


Oh, great. The “Mental Nerve?” And why is it in the jaw? Science, you got me again.

Tomorrow I will get to express in detail to a neurologist that I have a new symptom which is swiftly creeping into “getting worse” territory. Talking is such a strange affair right now — I’ve never even thought to try to envision what it must feel like when your voice goes one way and your lips, tongue and jaw go in others. My first course of action here was not to panic, but to put on a nice, level-toned documentary and scan the internet for dinner ideas. This is another one of those gifts from MS that, if you get it, you can’t give it back; it’s proven much better to keep calm and carry on (as they say).

Upon begrudgingly trying to get used to choosing my words a little too carefully, I now can’t get them from my mind to my mouth. That was happening only when I was tired, but I’m perfectly awake right now and so is my spastic chin. I feel pretty comfortable in believing that this was – or is? – an actual exacerbation (not a pseudo-). Kudos to me for not losing my shit over rescheduling a cancelled “because OMG snow in the south!” office visit with the Neurology department.

weak-jawline-broI’m looking forward to seeing a neurologist tomorrow for the first time since my MRI in December. “A,” not “My.” Mine is out of town and I didn’t want to wait until March to get results I should’ve gotten months ago. This MRI was to determine whether or not the enfeebling pain in my back is caused by Spinal Stenosis. All signs point to “Textbook Case” but I’m used to being surprised by negative results that leave every door open for a lack of treatment. Regardless, I need treatment for chronic, exquisite pain in the two places on my back that each hit the metal edges of a marble staircase in the 2000s. Going numb from the waist down is SO 2005.

I’m not hoping that I have a degenerative spinal disease or anything —  but “bad” news can be good if it gets you closer to a working treatment. It’s good because you’re getting news.

  1. Hang in there, beautiful. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this. Hopefully, you’ll get good news. Or, at the very least, some steroids.

    • You know, Rae — that is EXACTLY how I’m looking at it. Like, word-for-word thought. 🙂

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