Pros & Cons


“Hold on , hold on to me cuz I’m a little unsteady.”

Last night Cat spotted, caught me when I began to fall while I walked up and down the hallway. It was my fault for putting this song on; yesterday I wept listening to it, for myself and the Cons. There are plenty of good changes, but let’s hold off on those because they’ll all seem more winning after this part.

You should watch that video if you feel like crying. Also, the last ten minutes of Six Feet Under. Works every time.

Getting in and out of bed without falling is one of my primary exercises right now. Bad falls* happening daily have me mostly relegated to bed. I MISS WASHING DISHES, you guys.

thumbnail (4)Sometimes there is seemingly no rhyme or reason for falling, other times my left leg lets me down again with its petulant nonfunction.

My left arm has lost a great deal of itself as well and mostly hangs limp with a clenched fist. And though both left-side body deficits, each comes from a different lesion (1 brain, 1 spine).  As I type here, I’m trying to incorporate the left hand again because it’s all about the physical therapy. I’m not yet ready to give up on my physical self.

Ready for a course change yet? I have seizures now, but medication  helps control them. The seizure meds also help my vision. Whaaaa?

In many other ways, things have improved. “Your eyes aren’t glazed over and confused,” remarked my primary care physician. #FISTPUMP

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I am lucky enough to have these two sheroes making life better: a yoga instructor-turned LMT Wife and this therapy dog who’s trained to alert someone if a person stops breathing. 

MY FEET ARE TICKLISH FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE CHILDHOOD. Unexpected return of nerve function: HOORAY! Cat is thrilled about this; she has every right to return years of tickling. My speech has improved and I feel more… alive? Than I’ve felt in months. I am as better as it gets for someone with MS + Seizures. Despite yesterday weeping at limitations I couldn’t control, today I am again doing simple exercises with renewed vigor. I am writing and making art.

Just. keep. going.



*Bad Falls” but not so bad that we ever needed to call 911. Just lots of bruises.

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