Posts Tagged ‘ Physician ’

Musical Medical Chairs (+GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT)

This is still a big problem.

This is still a big problem.

Because my neurologist’s office makes a big point about not switching doctors within the practice, I’ve just been needlessly detained for weeks while they keep losing paperwork sent by my neuropsychiatrist that details why I need to switch physicians. I don’t know what other practices are in the area, but it’s time to check. I need to sit and write a complete history of my time under the care of this physician. I lost a year of my life and gained “many new” brain lesions under his lack of care; he made “using a wheelchair” gestures to chastise me… for not receiving care that his practice withheld. Most recently, I made the choice to not go through the Gilenya all-day First Dose Study because, after having gone a year without treatment, I was still not receiving a time or place to do it. I just started taking them on my own and, good news!, nothing bad happened. I have been my own physician for longer than any layperson should, and many of the physicians I have trusted with my care have fallen farther than short.

Don’t get me wrong — The Wahls Protocol is still remarkable, and the changes are still epic in my book. A warm day this week, however, was a polite tap on the shoulder from my nervous system after which it took an entire evening to recover. A sudden loss of motor skills and cognitive slowing almost seemed foreign (almost). Summer reminds me that it is no chump and can still best me.

But end of rope reached (before anything really bad happens!? Go on, girl!) and I need to look into finding physicians.

In the meantime, there’s laundry to fold, dinner to make, and a house to clean. Maybe before I even do those things, I need a full-on GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT:

I am grateful that my health is, in many ways, better than it’s ever been.

I am grateful that I feel like I can have a productive day.

Back center in the red wig: I was going to marry that musician.

Back center in the red wig: I was going to marry that musician.

I am grateful for my incredibly talented wife; I get to be privy to her private home rehearsals as she gets progressively more amazing as The Witch in a stage version of Sondheim’s Into the Woods. (I fell in love with her after the first time I saw her on stage several years ago. But I didn’t say anything to her then because she just looked… so above me, y’know? Without costume, I didn’t realize the waitress I seemed to hit it off with was the same siren that left my knees weak months earlier.)

I am grateful for kale chips.

I am grateful for a fridge full of produce.

I am grateful, now that summer is here, for Sheex®  on the bed.

I am grateful that my mom is recovering from her second knee replacement, and even more grateful that my dad is there as caretaker/cook/landscaper/houseboy. 🙂

I am grateful that #MindsOnMain wass successful enough to become an annual event!

I am grateful to have had the time to begin creating book covers!

11020769_10206485101228382_3872190026647930666_nI am grateful for great new housecleaning music

I am grateful for Cowboy, despite his new aged persona named “Lord Grumblebark” who appears only when Cat has been out of the house too long (after-work rehearsals) to release a litany of arbitrarily-timed woofs from the very pillow on which she will hopefully soon again lay her head.

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¡Eye Carumba!

Cowboy's gap-tooth smile

Cowboy’s gap-tooth smile

I had my eyes checked again today. I’ve been waking up with less ability to skim even short paragraphs and everything’s a little — just a little — less clear. I generally take pride in my 20/25 vision despite the splotches across it and jerking around of the eyeballs. I can see to type and play inside Photoshop, I just have trouble with actual reading.

These blog posts are usually very poorly proofread.

I have been noticing a change for days, but whether through moxie or denial haven’t really given it much issue. Unless I am in a bad enough way to need an ER, I wait a few days when I notice new things happening. After all it genuinely could be a pseudo- or not an- exacerbation at all. So far, I had felt the Gilenya side effect I’d most loathed was dissipating well. I wasn’t falling asleep against my will as much so therefore I dusted my hands and had some good times.

cat_dock copy

My wife is a yogi!

Then I got sick for a couple weeks. I’m only guessing at Rhinovirus, since I have neither health coverage nor income disposable enough for errant head colds that result in days of anosmia. I have enough medical knowledge to deal with the ancillary characters of human physiology. My eyes are not television cameo stars, however, and any change in my sight is prone to trigger anxiety.

Then there is a lucky balance of being so very, very blessed to have been born to the parents I was to counter that red flag: I was able to see a doctor today. It’s unclear if there’s edema (hence the referral), but I did learn about the limited color blindness and two astigmatisms I knew I had and also that No it’s not normal to see flashing colors, that’s a white light, blah, blah, blah…

"Double Down Dog"

This weekend she got me into a “Double Down Dog”

That doctor subsequently referred me to a neuro-opthamologist when I appeared rife with neurological abnormalities; he was a super guy, though, and I’ve got no complaints with his care. What is troublesome is that getting a referral increased my bill 125% — yes, it cost one hundred and twenty-five percent more to invoke the name of another physician in their network. I do not know who they are and they haven’t called yet, but they must be at least $100 of… something. I still need to know for certain why this blurriness is.

394926_408510739234056_450217506_nOn the bright side, if something is wrong I acted in an appropriately timely manner to address an issue if one becomes my happenstance. I have parents and a wife who love me a lot. I’ve got a ready list in my head of just as many things — even, and sometimes especially, little things — that bring me joy. Throughout this post are pictures of just some of the things that are making me happy right now.

Take that, wayward feelings of impending doom.

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